Thomas Edison's Terrifying Inventions
Thomas Edison's inventions may have been a bit much for the people of his time. Transcript Host: Welcome to the 1893 World's Fair. Our first presentation is from the Wizard of Menlo Park, Mr. Thomas Edison, who will be demonstrating some new inventions. Edison: Thank you, thank you. Now for my first invention, I present for you all... the phonograph! Took thousands of hours for me to perfect, a scientific marvel that can record the sound of someone's voice. Reginald: It's magical, it can change the entire world as we know it. Edison: Yes, that is the phonograph. Reginald: No, no, no. That marvelous slinking spring apparatus. Edison: That? It's just a spare coil I had in my bag. Reginald: Shh, shh, its weight seems to slink from hand to hand. What do you call it? Edison: It's not anything, I don't call it anything. Reginald: I would call it a slinky. Margaret: Oh! Reginald: I bet it can even go downstairs, oh! April: Alone, or in pairs! Edison: Let's focus, please, please! Sir, may I have you speak here & your voice will be recorded. Reginald: Is it quite safe? Edison: You have nothing to fear. Reginald: Hello? My name is Reginald & I am speaking to you now. Edison: Now, to reproduce the tonal frequency of this man's voice. Phonograph (w/ Reginald's voice): Hello? My name is Reginald & I am speaking to you now. '' '''Margaret': Witchcraft! Edison: Wait, what? Reginald: What dark magic have you called down upon us? Garet: Your phonograph is no slinky, sir! All: Slinky, slinky, slinky! Edison: How about I show you my next invention? Reginald: Oh, okay. Edison: This... is the lightbulb. Using electricity I can create a light brighter than any candle. Now, who of you would like to be illuminated? Garet: Oh, please show us, Mr. Edison. Margaret: Yes, my husband & I would like to be illuminated. Edison: Dim the gas lamps, please. Garet: Oh! Margaret! You look absolutely heinous in this light. Margaret/Dalton: Turn it off! Edison: But I just-- Margaret/Dalton: I don't want to be illuminated! Turn it off! Garet: Do it, do it. April: The Wizard of Menlo Park has released his evil magic upon us once again. Edison: I'm not really a wizard, it's just an expression. It's science! April: I don't know what that means so I hate & fear it! Reginald: Give us more slinkies! Edison: Slinky's not a thing! Reginald: Yes it is a thing, it's a spring. A spring, a marvelous thing. All: Slinky, slinky, slinky, slinky, slinky! Edison: Everybody, calm down! Sit down. This next one is my greatest invention yet, it is very entertaining. Really lady? I haven't done anything yet. April: I am sorry, I spoke too soon. Edison: I give you... motion pictures. I place images on celluloid, & when I put them in sequence it creates the illusion of movement. Observe... Margaret: The train is coming right towards us! Garet: Ah, this way to safety! Margaret: He had the slinky! Edison: Sweet Sally May, we're on the third floor! What's wrong with you people? April: What's wrong with us? Margaret: Yes, you're the one hurling trains at people! April: What's a train? Margaret: We want nothing to do with your picture box, Mr. Edison, get out! Edison: All right, fine. I'll leave, you people clearly can't understand my genius. Reginald: Wait, what's that you have there? Edison: What, that? It's just a child's toy I made, a birthday gift for my nephew. Margaret: What... what does it do? April: Oh, please don't tell me another train comes out of it. Edison: No, there's no train, I'll show you. Singing Fish: Camptown races sing this song, doo dah, doo dah. Camptown racetrack five miles long, oh doo doo doo dah day, hey. Reginald: It's beautiful. Margaret: A true masterpiece of the modern age! Announcer: You genius, you've done it! April: Huzzah for Thomas Edison & his singing devil fish & slinky! Reginald: Again! Singing Fish: Camptown races sing this song... All: Doo dah, doo dah. Camptown race sing this song, oh, doo-dah day. Cast *Matthew Galvan as Thomas Edison *Arvin Mitchell as the World Fair Host *Tanner Gillman as Reginald *April Rock as an Attendee *Austin Williams as Margaret **Dalton Johnson as "Margaret" *Garet Allen as Margaret's wife Notes Category:Season 10 Category:Season 10 Sketches